Boundaries
The boundaries are the edges that I will be pushing, taking me into new territories of learning, development and growth.
I'm really inspired by these resources, though I can get a good idea how much hard work these people have put into making their businesses work. I can feel my internal self-doubter rearing her head and I feel a little daunted by this! There's a definite internal boundary there that I need to get over if I am to achieve success with my plans.
Words like 'company' and 'business' have always ran a slight shiver down my spine, never something I could imagine embarking on myself! But this may be a great un-learning from this process, to let go of old fears and pre-conceived notions of what these terms mean, and re-create them in my mind with positive connotations. There is a permaculture principle of use edges and value the marginal. I feel this is very relevant here as creating anything ambitious would definitely be pushing my edges into the unknown, something which I should encourage myself to do.
And developing self-belief is something that I've recognised from the beginning that I know I need to put more energy into. Realising that anything is possible, so long as I believe it to be and go for it whole heartedly.
I'm really inspired by these resources, though I can get a good idea how much hard work these people have put into making their businesses work. I can feel my internal self-doubter rearing her head and I feel a little daunted by this! There's a definite internal boundary there that I need to get over if I am to achieve success with my plans.
Words like 'company' and 'business' have always ran a slight shiver down my spine, never something I could imagine embarking on myself! But this may be a great un-learning from this process, to let go of old fears and pre-conceived notions of what these terms mean, and re-create them in my mind with positive connotations. There is a permaculture principle of use edges and value the marginal. I feel this is very relevant here as creating anything ambitious would definitely be pushing my edges into the unknown, something which I should encourage myself to do.
And developing self-belief is something that I've recognised from the beginning that I know I need to put more energy into. Realising that anything is possible, so long as I believe it to be and go for it whole heartedly.
One of my favourite quotes, from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I've had this note in my journal for months, and I'm finding it very comforting..
Also, something that Bill Mollison says;
'Yield is limited only by the imagination'
The process of looking into other companies and finding inspiration there is opening my perspective on the creative business world. I am realising that I have held a very narrow view and strong internal judgement that has told me to stay away from anything related to business. When looking deeper into this I noted down the first things that came to my mind when I wrote the word Business.
Also, something that Bill Mollison says;
'Yield is limited only by the imagination'
The process of looking into other companies and finding inspiration there is opening my perspective on the creative business world. I am realising that I have held a very narrow view and strong internal judgement that has told me to stay away from anything related to business. When looking deeper into this I noted down the first things that came to my mind when I wrote the word Business.
Creating a mind map on business helps me to bring to light my true feelings and thoughts
When writing down the first things that came to mind about business, they were all negatives! Some words that came up were trapping,, no beauty, selfish, no truth, no heart. These last words felt especially tender to me. I found that I have gathered the experience that business requires you to pretend to be somebody else, and that weaknesses are not allowed.
I think this repels me so fervently because this way of living feels so un-progressive. We need to be working towards building a society that works on higher ideals than this, our future depends upon it.
When I think of where I gathered these judgements, my head is filled with snapshots of several minimum wage office jobs throughout my teenage years. Having to repress my true nature, being trapped inside an incredibly dull environment on one of many hot summer days, dressing up in smarts to fit in. Makes sense that I would have come to these conclusions! Also, more recently the disappointment of finding out the truth behind some of the companies that I believed were to be ethical and environmentally conscious has added to the well of belief I hold that businesses are not to be trusted. But now I need to shift these judgements, as they are not set in stone and I need to develop a new and open mindset around this word that I have placed so much weight behind.
I think this repels me so fervently because this way of living feels so un-progressive. We need to be working towards building a society that works on higher ideals than this, our future depends upon it.
When I think of where I gathered these judgements, my head is filled with snapshots of several minimum wage office jobs throughout my teenage years. Having to repress my true nature, being trapped inside an incredibly dull environment on one of many hot summer days, dressing up in smarts to fit in. Makes sense that I would have come to these conclusions! Also, more recently the disappointment of finding out the truth behind some of the companies that I believed were to be ethical and environmentally conscious has added to the well of belief I hold that businesses are not to be trusted. But now I need to shift these judgements, as they are not set in stone and I need to develop a new and open mindset around this word that I have placed so much weight behind.
I thought it would be useful to do the same exercise around the word creativity, to see what came up.
I am noticing that creativity makes me feel divinely connected, benefiting my soul and life's purpose. It connects me to truth, and to higher powers. It benefits others, is selfless and makes me feel good! Even writing these words is making me feel good. I get a very strong feeling of freedom.
I am noticing that creativity makes me feel divinely connected, benefiting my soul and life's purpose. It connects me to truth, and to higher powers. It benefits others, is selfless and makes me feel good! Even writing these words is making me feel good. I get a very strong feeling of freedom.
I next combined the two, to create a new idea in my mind of how my creative business could be. One major point is that I have taken what I saw as a negative aspect of money and included it as a positive. I need to shift my conception of money being a bad thing if I am ever to progress in supporting my family more fully!
I can keep checking in on this drawing if I feel my barriers to business coming up again, as I'm sure they may. I am also finding that discovering other companies that I admire and that are ethical in their ways is helping me to remember that running a business doesn't have to mean that I need to be heartless.
I can keep checking in on this drawing if I feel my barriers to business coming up again, as I'm sure they may. I am also finding that discovering other companies that I admire and that are ethical in their ways is helping me to remember that running a business doesn't have to mean that I need to be heartless.
A mind map of my feelings towards a creative business
One thing that I'm observing to be nagging at me is the issue of making things in one country for sale in a different one. I feel that one of the greatest way's for our communities to move forwards is to start living more locally. I have had several days of doubt lately whether I want to get involved with an idea that is so global, and will involve transporting goods over long distances.
I've thought through the different options, and I feel that it is just not practical for me to try and start this business using only local UK based materials and craftspeople. The climate, amount of land given over for growing fibres, and the added expense of materials and labour costs would make it incredibly challenging and I feel that it would have much less chance of getting off the ground. A primary aim of this project is to provide a financial income, and so I need to be realistic rather than idealistic for this to be achieved. (In permaculture words the project will need to obtain a yield to allow the ideas to blossom fully and continue.)
So I have decided to go ahead with the idea of sourcing my materials and creation of the clothes in Asia. I feel that this is a real compromise situation. In one way it doesn't feel ideally progressive in the way of building a sustainable local community, I have it ingrained within my head that going local is the best way. But on the other hand, by working globally like this I will hopefully be able to create an ethical company that will provide an alternative to people buying traditionally grown, toxin-laden clothes, whilst also raising awareness and sharing information on organic fabrics and natural dying and weaving crafts. I hope that this will balance out and result in being of benefit to my surroundings and our planet. The ethic of Fair shares comes to mind here, hopefully I can design a system that will bring benefit to everyone involved in the process from start to finish, and if that could be communities that need more support in Asia then that benefit may balance out the compromise of exporting the garments to sell.
In a perfect world, we would all be wearing locally produced organic clothing, and the idea of producing something from around the world would be unimaginable. But in reality the vast majority of us are wearing sweatshop produced clothing, made from cotton soaked in an array of chemicals, often flown multiple times around the world to reach us. When working with this as a reality, I feel that if my idea will work towards opposing that reality and contributing to providing an alternative, it will be worth doing.
I've thought through the different options, and I feel that it is just not practical for me to try and start this business using only local UK based materials and craftspeople. The climate, amount of land given over for growing fibres, and the added expense of materials and labour costs would make it incredibly challenging and I feel that it would have much less chance of getting off the ground. A primary aim of this project is to provide a financial income, and so I need to be realistic rather than idealistic for this to be achieved. (In permaculture words the project will need to obtain a yield to allow the ideas to blossom fully and continue.)
So I have decided to go ahead with the idea of sourcing my materials and creation of the clothes in Asia. I feel that this is a real compromise situation. In one way it doesn't feel ideally progressive in the way of building a sustainable local community, I have it ingrained within my head that going local is the best way. But on the other hand, by working globally like this I will hopefully be able to create an ethical company that will provide an alternative to people buying traditionally grown, toxin-laden clothes, whilst also raising awareness and sharing information on organic fabrics and natural dying and weaving crafts. I hope that this will balance out and result in being of benefit to my surroundings and our planet. The ethic of Fair shares comes to mind here, hopefully I can design a system that will bring benefit to everyone involved in the process from start to finish, and if that could be communities that need more support in Asia then that benefit may balance out the compromise of exporting the garments to sell.
In a perfect world, we would all be wearing locally produced organic clothing, and the idea of producing something from around the world would be unimaginable. But in reality the vast majority of us are wearing sweatshop produced clothing, made from cotton soaked in an array of chemicals, often flown multiple times around the world to reach us. When working with this as a reality, I feel that if my idea will work towards opposing that reality and contributing to providing an alternative, it will be worth doing.
Ohli and I playing in the dirt in Thailand
Throughout this project so far I have been in Thailand, visiting some permaculture learning centres and catching up with old friends. I thought that Thailand would be the perfect place to have my designs made up, and would be the easiest option too, knowing some people here and a little about the country already and speaking some of the language. I thought finding people to work with would be easy! For the last few months I've based myself in Chiang Mai, the main city in the North, as the surrounding countryside has many hilltribes living here, who all make beautiful handmade crafts. Sadly though I've found a real shortage of anybody growing, weaving or dying fabric in organic or natural ways. I've had several leads and have spent my time here following them but they've led me nowhere. There are many people still weaving, but using chemical dyed yarns from the marketplace, imported mostly from India and China. Finding groups of people who still use natural dyes is quite a challenge, it seems to have almost died out.
I've been told several times that Thailand doesn't grow much cotton, (although I've later found that not to be true - cotton does grow here, and organic cotton too, though on a smaller scale) but as it's cheaper to import, that's what's mostly done nowadays. It's also illegal to grow hemp here unless it is a special project of the Queen, so that's an unlikely possibility too. The fabric I can get here all seems to be imported from China or India. I would be much happier having the clothing made and grown in the same country.
And the most use of natural dyes I can find here is also very small scale.
(Recent update; I have just connected with some hilltribes along the border of Thailand and Burma who can produce naturally dyed organic cloth, and I have some samples of cloth in my possesion! But they are presently unable to weave fabric thin enough to be made into clothing, it is more suitable for bags as it is sturdy and quite rough. You can see more about this in the resources section)
It's not only the frustration of chasing up so many leads that lead no-where.. It's the ever increasing awareness that what I am looking for is so unusual, that it's just so hard to come by. Rolls upon rolls of fabric line the walls of some of the markets here, fabrics that are so beautiful I look at them and instantly my head is filled with the most incredible clothes I could be making. And so cheap! But I have no idea where they come from, I only know they haven't been produced in the way I'm looking for. Totally frustrating.
But I guess this will make it all the more satisfying when I find the people I'm looking for..
Here you can continue to the next stage, resources
I've been told several times that Thailand doesn't grow much cotton, (although I've later found that not to be true - cotton does grow here, and organic cotton too, though on a smaller scale) but as it's cheaper to import, that's what's mostly done nowadays. It's also illegal to grow hemp here unless it is a special project of the Queen, so that's an unlikely possibility too. The fabric I can get here all seems to be imported from China or India. I would be much happier having the clothing made and grown in the same country.
And the most use of natural dyes I can find here is also very small scale.
(Recent update; I have just connected with some hilltribes along the border of Thailand and Burma who can produce naturally dyed organic cloth, and I have some samples of cloth in my possesion! But they are presently unable to weave fabric thin enough to be made into clothing, it is more suitable for bags as it is sturdy and quite rough. You can see more about this in the resources section)
It's not only the frustration of chasing up so many leads that lead no-where.. It's the ever increasing awareness that what I am looking for is so unusual, that it's just so hard to come by. Rolls upon rolls of fabric line the walls of some of the markets here, fabrics that are so beautiful I look at them and instantly my head is filled with the most incredible clothes I could be making. And so cheap! But I have no idea where they come from, I only know they haven't been produced in the way I'm looking for. Totally frustrating.
But I guess this will make it all the more satisfying when I find the people I'm looking for..
Here you can continue to the next stage, resources
