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Ohli
Over the next year I made some really big changes to our lives.
Firstly I began by finding ways to simplify my life. Realising the obvious need for having space for myself, I began to experiment with interesting things to occupy Ohli to free up my time for other things. Often putting some time aside in the evening to set up interesting play-spaces for him to discover in the morning, so that he would wake up to find things to do and be busied for a while so I could do have a little time to myself, mostly for yoga and a little meditation.
I really began to feel the benefit within my state of mind from having some time out to myself every day, and I have really made this a stronger part of our lives. And I found that paying closer attention to the changing things that stimulate and interest Ohli gives me a deeper understanding of the stages he is at, and allows me to really notice his changing patterns. A nice outcome that I didn't think to expect.
Firstly I began by finding ways to simplify my life. Realising the obvious need for having space for myself, I began to experiment with interesting things to occupy Ohli to free up my time for other things. Often putting some time aside in the evening to set up interesting play-spaces for him to discover in the morning, so that he would wake up to find things to do and be busied for a while so I could do have a little time to myself, mostly for yoga and a little meditation.
I really began to feel the benefit within my state of mind from having some time out to myself every day, and I have really made this a stronger part of our lives. And I found that paying closer attention to the changing things that stimulate and interest Ohli gives me a deeper understanding of the stages he is at, and allows me to really notice his changing patterns. A nice outcome that I didn't think to expect.
Reflection
Some of my attempts of finding more time for myself didn't work so well. I tried putting Ohli into a nursery for a few days a week, but when it actually happened, it didn't feel right at all. After trying a few days it became so apparent how young he still is, and putting him into care felt so instinctively wrong that it made me change my mind. I have always trusted my instincts when it comes to our connection, and know that if my inner voice is telling me that something is wrong, then it is usually surrounding a creation of our society designed for making the parents life easier, and not the child's life better. I couldn't carry on with it, and with this remembered that Ohli's happiness and well being is a bigger priority that me having spare time to do other things. He won't be small for long, and this experience made me realize that I can wait to have more spare time, and whatever I choose do in my life at this time has to suit both of us. Small and slow solutions, all things will come in their own time.
ActionLiving within the ethics of permaculture: people care, earth care..
After giving some thought to what I was putting into my/our bodies and the effects physically, energetically and environmentally this was having, I have stepped up my effort to stay away from supermarkets and buy only local organic food, but this has been dependent on where we have been. Ideally I want to move towards wild food foraging being a much bigger part of my diet and growing food making up the bulk of what we eat, along with preserving, fermenting, drying and storing. This has been challenging to achieve so far as we have been moving from place to place without knowing the local areas, without a garden of our own, and also whilst sharing meals with a wide range of people from different backgrounds. I did join a wild seaweed foraging group during our recent travels, and as this is one of my focuses for learning over this diploma I'd like it to become a much bigger part of our diet over time. Also, I have been thinking about going for some adventures and would like to be visiting various different permaculture teaching centres, organic farms and wwoofing hosts over the next while. This means my diet will hopefully be increasing in local, organic, ethically sourced food. And no more supermarkets. Ever. |
As for my impact on the world around me, I identified some of the places for possible change being unnecessary driving. I decided to stop driving altogether and go back to a combination of public transport and travelling less. As I was making this choice a friendly neighbour gave me a really lovely bicycle out of the blue, proof that I am heading in the right direction! Getting about by bike is fulfilling me more than I even thought it would. Not only is it healthier for me and for the air around us, but I'm saving so much money by not having a van. May I never see another service station as long as I live. And I always felt concerned for wee man being strapped to a chair facing nothing but cars and motorways for hours on end, not the environment I ever wanted him to be in. It feels wonderful to feel proud of the way I get about now. And Ohli loves it too, especially speeding down the bumpy hills. I think more carefully about where I need to go, and try not to make any unnecessary journeys.
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Reflection
True sustainability - best for now vs best for the future?
My thinking so far reminds me of the larger picture of modern human society in many ways - doing the things that are the easiest in the present moment, but looking down the line are they the best choices?
There's an opportunity in design to learn from mistakes we see in our society at large.. For me I see it with Ohli watching cartoons when I need some time out, eating quick snack food (like toast) instead of making proper lunches, driving into town instead of riding my bike, eating store bought biscuits instead of making home-made sugar free treats... things that are easier at the time so chosen to be the best in the moment, not giving priority to how this will impact the future. The benefit of having some space to think to take a step back to look at these questions to make the right choice is huge - and of not being afraid of making the wrong choices, as life is a constantly changing journey we will almost always have the chance to make those choices again some time in the future. And if the path we choose turns out to not be the best one, then we can adapt and change to fit the new surroundings.
There's an opportunity in design to learn from mistakes we see in our society at large.. For me I see it with Ohli watching cartoons when I need some time out, eating quick snack food (like toast) instead of making proper lunches, driving into town instead of riding my bike, eating store bought biscuits instead of making home-made sugar free treats... things that are easier at the time so chosen to be the best in the moment, not giving priority to how this will impact the future. The benefit of having some space to think to take a step back to look at these questions to make the right choice is huge - and of not being afraid of making the wrong choices, as life is a constantly changing journey we will almost always have the chance to make those choices again some time in the future. And if the path we choose turns out to not be the best one, then we can adapt and change to fit the new surroundings.
Action
Realising clearly that the home I was living in was no longer the right place for us, we finally decided to leave. The plan of exactly to where this should be has changed many times, but it has finally rested in us making the choice to leave the country and go travelling. After finding some rest in the changes I made to our little lives from this project, time has moved on and now Ohli is a little older and it feels much more possible to make the jump. Making the decision to go I have re-found my feelings of freedom that I was looking for in other places. So far this has given me more energy in every part of my life, as I know I am following my heart and my highest dreams. Which feels amazing! I am planning a journey that will hopefully incorporate time for all of the things that I want to prioritise; permaculture study, yoga and meditation, connecting with wild nature, connecting with people, and investigating possible income streams.
It's clear that having financial security of some sort, or at least having some sort of semi-reliable income is essential to feeling sustained, alongside all of the knock-on effects of money worries, as this affects everything from my methods of travel to the ethics of my shopping. I am beginning to direct some energy, time and priority into developing some form of income streams that I can work towards. This will come shortly, most likely as a separate project. (See project 4 and also project 6)
It's clear that having financial security of some sort, or at least having some sort of semi-reliable income is essential to feeling sustained, alongside all of the knock-on effects of money worries, as this affects everything from my methods of travel to the ethics of my shopping. I am beginning to direct some energy, time and priority into developing some form of income streams that I can work towards. This will come shortly, most likely as a separate project. (See project 4 and also project 6)
Appreciation
what has happened connected to this project?
- decided to leave fala, Scotland
- found some clarity, and the courage to overcome my fears by holding them out in the open
- big travels!
- lots of beneficial internal processing
- quadrant theory- pushing me to grow holistically
- all other later projects are based upon this work.. zone 00.... is that what this is? a zone 00 design? i guess it must be...
- This seems to be a tap root project, running through everything else I am doing.
Momentum
Trying my best to understand the nature of life with it's constant changes and surprises, I am trying to work on making changes that affect my every day, my here and now. Integrating these focuses into my life is independent of where we are - so long as we are in a place that supports our needs it could be practically anywhere. So with the general overview of keeping several things maintained within our every day, I hope that we will continue to be able to live in a happy and fulfilled way.
- Friendship and company... and living with love for all things.
- Time put aside to do things I/we enjoy doing, that satisfy our creative needs in whatever way
- Making steps towards making our future better than today.
- Prioritising our health; for me that means giving value to spending time in yoga or some personal development, for Ohli this could mean making sure he has stimulating and interesting things to help him grow.
- Being in surroundings that nourish, nurture, and bring out the best of ourselves.
Pause
Here I took a step back from this project and let all that I had been thinking about sink in. I went off travelling and on with my other projects, all the while keeping in mind the guidelines that I had come across that could keep us living in an emotionally and energetically sustained way. My next step was project three, where I began planning my journey based upon what I had been finding out and experiencing throughout this one (you can see that work here)
One year on...
As of February 2013..
reflections
The work done back here really was just the beginning of a lifelong path towards inner sustainability. Creating the space in my life I need to flourish is a constantly changing task, one that moves and grows with me. Life designs don't appear to be static, though perhaps land based designs aren't either! Am getting an understanding of how fluid it is working with natural systems. This makes perfect sense, of course, as nothing in the natural world ever stands still, don't know why I thought any of my plans would, I should know by now.
The impact on my life that this project has had have been huge, in that without recognising the important need I had for finding more space for my mind to process the changes that had occurred within my life, in such a small space of time, I wouldn't have got very far. On simple levels, I made space and time to study and think, and putting some priority on having some 'me' time, integrating a little quiet space into every day to clear my head and thoughts, which very positively impacted my relationship with Ohli and our lives in general.
As these small steps have increased the space I am able to move and grow into, and helped me to re-find my own unique journey through this life, I have been able now to go deeper and look further into the things that I feel will positively impact my internal world, so giving me more energy for accomplishing my goals and ambitions.
I feel that maintaining a holistic level of growth and learning is so vitally important to keep my life on track and to be the richest and most fulfilling that it can be. I've recently re-mapped my quadrants and what they now contain, as you can see on my second quadrant theory page.
The impact on my life that this project has had have been huge, in that without recognising the important need I had for finding more space for my mind to process the changes that had occurred within my life, in such a small space of time, I wouldn't have got very far. On simple levels, I made space and time to study and think, and putting some priority on having some 'me' time, integrating a little quiet space into every day to clear my head and thoughts, which very positively impacted my relationship with Ohli and our lives in general.
As these small steps have increased the space I am able to move and grow into, and helped me to re-find my own unique journey through this life, I have been able now to go deeper and look further into the things that I feel will positively impact my internal world, so giving me more energy for accomplishing my goals and ambitions.
I feel that maintaining a holistic level of growth and learning is so vitally important to keep my life on track and to be the richest and most fulfilling that it can be. I've recently re-mapped my quadrants and what they now contain, as you can see on my second quadrant theory page.
principles
These are the permaculture principles that I have been connecting with:
Apply self regulation and accept feedback
After seeing how my state of mind has such an affect on my decision making and ability to think clearly, it is up to me to check in on myself to see how I am feeling, to listen to my body and inner wisdom, and to make changes where they are needed. This is such a valuable tool, the ability to tune in and listen to the wisdom inside and see the signs of wear on and in myself before they can cause harm. This is is something that I have been practising a lot over the past year.
catch and store energy
To keep myself feeling well and able to function at my best I need to keep up with eating healthily and my yoga practice. I have seen this time and time again, as soon as either of these two things slips, everything else begins to go with it. So it's so important for me to catch the energy that I gain from these activities and store it to use where I need the extra strength and support in other areas of my life.
creatively use and respond to change
Over the past year so many things have changed. Living with a small child means that the demands on me are constantly changing and requiring me to learn and grow in different ways than I would have done otherwise. Instead of seeing these as challenges, I try to see them as opportunities for growth in ways that are always so beneficial, if I allow them to be. The details and location of our living environment has changed many times, but our needs for a happy and fulfilling life remain the same. This shows me that happiness and a life in balance can be achieved anywhere.
Apply self regulation and accept feedback
After seeing how my state of mind has such an affect on my decision making and ability to think clearly, it is up to me to check in on myself to see how I am feeling, to listen to my body and inner wisdom, and to make changes where they are needed. This is such a valuable tool, the ability to tune in and listen to the wisdom inside and see the signs of wear on and in myself before they can cause harm. This is is something that I have been practising a lot over the past year.
catch and store energy
To keep myself feeling well and able to function at my best I need to keep up with eating healthily and my yoga practice. I have seen this time and time again, as soon as either of these two things slips, everything else begins to go with it. So it's so important for me to catch the energy that I gain from these activities and store it to use where I need the extra strength and support in other areas of my life.
creatively use and respond to change
Over the past year so many things have changed. Living with a small child means that the demands on me are constantly changing and requiring me to learn and grow in different ways than I would have done otherwise. Instead of seeing these as challenges, I try to see them as opportunities for growth in ways that are always so beneficial, if I allow them to be. The details and location of our living environment has changed many times, but our needs for a happy and fulfilling life remain the same. This shows me that happiness and a life in balance can be achieved anywhere.
Reflection
Remaining energetically sustained
This is something that affects all other things around it. Often called zone 00, the inner garden of our minds and souls. If all is in chaos here then there's a good chance that all external actions will be flawed and negatively impacted by this. So, an important task, to find things that I can integrate into our lives to add some fire into our souls whenever we need it, or more importantly, to bring into our everydays so we don't find ourselves drained or exhausted.
An important learning on this journey has been to recognise the importance of this, and how it affects everything else going on with us. (Especially when taking care of a young child, they are so sensitive and aware of the energies of those around them.) I began this project by taking small steps in my physical environment so that I would be better able to begin working towards my ambitions and desires. Now I have found that extra space I recognise my challenges as something deeper, and more personal. I have noticed that when my emotional and energetic energy is high, I feel the motivation and ability to accomplish anything and everything.
so this project has grown into a pattern for designing holistic health in zone 00, creating space mentally, physically and emotionally for my life to flourish...
An important learning on this journey has been to recognise the importance of this, and how it affects everything else going on with us. (Especially when taking care of a young child, they are so sensitive and aware of the energies of those around them.) I began this project by taking small steps in my physical environment so that I would be better able to begin working towards my ambitions and desires. Now I have found that extra space I recognise my challenges as something deeper, and more personal. I have noticed that when my emotional and energetic energy is high, I feel the motivation and ability to accomplish anything and everything.
so this project has grown into a pattern for designing holistic health in zone 00, creating space mentally, physically and emotionally for my life to flourish...
Integral theoryThis I have been looking into lately and it feels very relevant here to me.
.."As an individual's sphere of consideration and care expands to include others beyond oneself, and as that person acts in concert with others who also share this expanded worldview, the closer the community or society comes to sustainability. In this way, worldviews move from being self focused and egocentric, to include others in the social group, or sociocentric, to eventually include other humans, species and ecosystems in a worldcentric embrace. Therefore, self-care, care for others, and universal care are all contained within a worldcentric perspective." From 'Developing sustainability, Developing the self; an integral approach to International and community development' by Gail Hochachka As the intention of this permaculture diploma and lifelong ambition is to help to develop sustainability in my community and beyond, I came across this book whilst recognising my own need for personal growth being fundamental for any outside work I can do, and fully affecting the way that I approach any ideas or plans I may have. I just love the idea of a 'worldcentric embrace...' |
Ideas
When times are tough and my energy is feeling low, my spiritual practices start to slip away, which creates such a negative spiral, and my energy sinks even lower. It has been a while since I have focused any time or energy into this side of myself and there are some teachings that I have known of for some time that really appeal to me, though I've not recently prioritised sitting down and going back into them. Still not ever sitting down for very long, I feel that the sooner the better and the time is now, after remembering now how important this is and how everything else in my life usually rests on the inner strength and harmony that they can bring.
I've learnt that as the only constant that is always with us is ourselves, it is the inner landscape that is the most important to develop and if it is shining with courage, love and health then all else will fall into place around. After spending some time thinking about where to best presently direct my focus to help myself, would like to spend more time in creative expression and reflection, and developing better personal communication tools.
I've learnt that as the only constant that is always with us is ourselves, it is the inner landscape that is the most important to develop and if it is shining with courage, love and health then all else will fall into place around. After spending some time thinking about where to best presently direct my focus to help myself, would like to spend more time in creative expression and reflection, and developing better personal communication tools.
Helps
These are the things that I know of that I think may help me to improve the internal landscape of my mind, keeping me energised and motivated, helping me to communicate with my companions and community more effectively, maintain my courage and a strong sense of self, and keep me focused on my path so that I can flow along it with ease. I have put some links and downloads of resources connected with these topics on the resources page (here). This is being updated so please bear with me!
- Quadrant Theory. I am going to keep adding to this as the more I use this the more beneficial it feels to be. I have re-written my quadrants containing all the things that are present in my life as it stands now. (You can see that here.)
- I'd like to bring in an investigation to spiral dynamics. This links in to quadrant theory, I will explain this sometime further ahead, when I fully understand what I am talking about!
- Non violent Communication - this has always interested me and although I have tried to use aspects of it in my connections and personal relationships, I haven't looked into this fully enough to hold onto it.
- The Work that Reconnects and the Great Freedom are both practices that many friends of mine are involved with that seem to bring them great calm, motivation and clarity. I would like to explore these further.
- Karma yoga is the practice of being present in every moment and trying to go about your daily activities with a conscious awareness that you are living in service for the divine spirit. I first practised this whilst on retreat in an ashram in the UK years ago, and found it to be so great at reminding me of the gratitude I have for my life.
- Visualisation and manifestation techniques, I often forget just how powerful they can be, and a daily prayer to give thanks for everything we have, the small things, little gifts and offerings to show appreciation to the earth and to loved ones.
- Connecting with the roots and the shoots of life.. restoring my connection with my ancestors.. What does this bring? A deeper connection with all that has been feels similar to the idea of a mature forest and the strength of a climax community. My roots keep my toes firmly in the ground. I have put a link to some really good books which relate to this on the resources page here
- Some years ago I came across the writings and teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, and a book of his recently re-appeared into my life. He is an incredibly inspirational teacher and his words encourage me to live into my best possible self. You can see a little more on him here.
- Being gentle and patient with myself! This here is a key learning I have gained so far along the way, that things take time, that I shouldn't pressure myself to be anywhere else than I am, that the journey I am on is exactly where I need to be. Phew.
And I think I shall leave it at that.
So, for now, that will be where I will leave this project. I think I have ended with a framework that will hopefully help me to achieve my primary goals. Back at the beginning, I listed my intentions as:
I feel that I have accomplished those goals successfully, for now. This is work that could keep going for as long as I am living and breathing, as my needs will be changing and flowing with whatever challenges that cross my path. But, for now, the list of inspirations and helps above will give me a solid framework to keep my mind and spirit strong enough to be able to cope with whatever life throws at me.
- I'd like to look into my current living situation, and identify the challenges that I face in achieving my future hopes, dreams and ambitions.
- I'd then like to look at what needs I have, and find ways I could meet those needs using permaculture design principles for inspiration
I feel that I have accomplished those goals successfully, for now. This is work that could keep going for as long as I am living and breathing, as my needs will be changing and flowing with whatever challenges that cross my path. But, for now, the list of inspirations and helps above will give me a solid framework to keep my mind and spirit strong enough to be able to cope with whatever life throws at me.
On to the next page, and the design web drawing here