If you missed the introductory page please click here
So I thought I should begin with an explanation to how this project is set out. This work so far has been running along for about two years, moving backwards and forwards between design points, so it has been a challenge to get it down and still make any sense. So the framework that seems to fit it the best is the Design web, created by Looby Macnamara.
You can see an explanation of this way of working by following the link below.
You can see an explanation of this way of working by following the link below.
**Please click here to learn more about the design web method that I've followed in this project**
Visioning
My vision and intentions for this project
I'm going to start by trying to hold in my mind a vision for our future, how I would like things to be. And then I will lay out some goals that I can hope to achieve by the end of this project.
A vision for my futureI am creatively fulfilled
I find the time to accomplish meaningful tasks that I set my heart on I have the highest quality of life that I can imagine I live in true happiness I am inspired and inspiring I am a valuable part of a valuable community I am constantly transforming, learning and growing I am living more slowly and appreciating the present moments I am finding ways to harmoniously integrate having a family, study, and all else that I wish to do |
My intentions for this project
When setting out the goals at the beginning of a project, I have been told that they should be clear and quantifiable, in other words, at the end of the work it should be easy to see if they have been met or not. So here are my intentions for this project:
- I'd like to look into my current living situation, and identify the challenges that I face in achieving my future hopes, dreams and ambitions.
- I'd then like to look at what needs I have, and find ways I could meet those needs using permaculture design principles for inspiration
Patterns
Observations on my current situation-September 2010
I am right at the beginning of a new chapter in my life. Beginning this diploma is a huge step for me, and making that decision to actively work towards a new future in permaculture design is so exciting! But, as things stand, I can't imagine getting very far in the spare time I have at the moment. Ohli is not yet a year old, and he needs a lot of time and attention!
At the time this was beginning I was living in a shared farmhouse just outside of Edinburgh in Scotland. I had been there for two years, in Scotland for at least 6 years, and was really feeling really stuck and felt the need for a change, but was unsure of what this was to be. I was torn between wanting to leave and find a new life for us, whilst also appreciating and valuing the the safety and comfort of my friends being nearby, and was quite fearful of the thought of leaping off into the unknown whilst being responsible for a child. With little time and space to think I had begun to sink into a pattern of rushing into things and not thinking them through very well. I had made several travel plans that had fallen through due to lack of finances and of adequate planning, and I had rushed into buying a camper van that had then fallen apart. Before it did however, I had made some trips around the UK, looking for a new place to move to, but no where felt right and I found myself returning back to Scotland again. So I was looking for a way to empower myself to make wiser choices and for the right reasons.
At the time this was beginning I was living in a shared farmhouse just outside of Edinburgh in Scotland. I had been there for two years, in Scotland for at least 6 years, and was really feeling really stuck and felt the need for a change, but was unsure of what this was to be. I was torn between wanting to leave and find a new life for us, whilst also appreciating and valuing the the safety and comfort of my friends being nearby, and was quite fearful of the thought of leaping off into the unknown whilst being responsible for a child. With little time and space to think I had begun to sink into a pattern of rushing into things and not thinking them through very well. I had made several travel plans that had fallen through due to lack of finances and of adequate planning, and I had rushed into buying a camper van that had then fallen apart. Before it did however, I had made some trips around the UK, looking for a new place to move to, but no where felt right and I found myself returning back to Scotland again. So I was looking for a way to empower myself to make wiser choices and for the right reasons.
Helps
I feel hugely supported by my Permaculture diploma tutor and support group that are going through this with me, giving me the motivation and tools and new energy to begin this change. Also I'm being helped by the tools learned in my recent Permaculture Design Course, giving me a grounding knowledge and excitement for the changes ahead, with the feeling that everything is possible, and also a sense of urgency that there is so much to be done. I am spurred along by the motivation that comes from being solely responsible for a young child, that responsibility to be the best and provide the best that I am able to.
Why do I want this change? My desire to better myself has never been stronger. I want to create the best life for Ohli and myself, and it's something that I have to do all by myself. Or at least, it's up to me to begin, and to put in place the support networks that I will need for the future.
In my diploma induction Richard introduced us to Quadrant theory, with a brief explanation to how it may help us to develop holistically and to make sure that we are learning and growing in a balanced way. I think this could be a positive influence on my designing and on my life as a whole, so I would like to investigate this further.
Why do I want this change? My desire to better myself has never been stronger. I want to create the best life for Ohli and myself, and it's something that I have to do all by myself. Or at least, it's up to me to begin, and to put in place the support networks that I will need for the future.
In my diploma induction Richard introduced us to Quadrant theory, with a brief explanation to how it may help us to develop holistically and to make sure that we are learning and growing in a balanced way. I think this could be a positive influence on my designing and on my life as a whole, so I would like to investigate this further.
Quadrant theoryI began looking into Ken Wilburs work on quadrant theory. I have made a seperate page charting my progress in this. You can see this here.
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I next brainstormed the things that I thought were important for us. From this I focused on four main things:
I realised that these things were not static, they could all be mobile and didn't involve us being tied to any one place. We could find our happiness, home and support in many different places.
- Ohli's happiness: having positive influences, children to play with around him, my devoted time, nature and beautiful surroundings. (Of course this is my opinion, I'll have to wait until he's a bit older to find out what really would bring him happiness. Though I imagine that with this basic foundation, he'll have the best start I can give him)
- My happiness: socialisation, contentment, wilderness, community, good friends, activities I enjoy, spare time.
- Our home: Some of the possibilities I see at the moment are living in a van, in a new house, or in a yurt in the woods.
- Supporting ourselves: leaving behind the support of benefits, and my study options - my permaculture diploma, Open University to finish my degree in Ecology, Steiner teacher training, and/or crafting.
I realised that these things were not static, they could all be mobile and didn't involve us being tied to any one place. We could find our happiness, home and support in many different places.
Limits
Energetically - very low, lack of sleep and support, low passion and enthusiasm, fear creeping in with low self esteem
physically- no space in a chaotic shared house. desperately looking for a new place to live...
financially - need to live on very low budget in order to be able to study and not need to go to full time work, this creates very limited options for housing and other opportunities
no clarity - forgetting my former self before motherhood, giving no time and attention to myself as an individual
fears - subtle at the time, but very apparent looking back. Fears of making the wrong choices, being responsible for a dependant now. Fears of being isolated if I left my community to find the space of living alone. Fears of losing my freedom and not being able to travel any more.
physically- no space in a chaotic shared house. desperately looking for a new place to live...
financially - need to live on very low budget in order to be able to study and not need to go to full time work, this creates very limited options for housing and other opportunities
no clarity - forgetting my former self before motherhood, giving no time and attention to myself as an individual
fears - subtle at the time, but very apparent looking back. Fears of making the wrong choices, being responsible for a dependant now. Fears of being isolated if I left my community to find the space of living alone. Fears of losing my freedom and not being able to travel any more.
I brainstormed how I saw mine and Ohli's needs, shown here. I thought that this may help so I could fit in whatever new ideas I had around these.
From this I noticed several things.
From this I noticed several things.
- I mapped out our main needs as: friendship, company and support, space and time to ourselves (both individually and together), planning for our future (my education), financial security, time for spirituality and yoga, immersing ourselves in nature, creativity, and devoted time for Ohli. I noticed that I felt quite emotional whilst writing these points down, as I realised that I wasn't fully achieving any of them!
- The need for space appeared several times, making it apparent that this was something that was both important to me and something that I was definitely not getting enough of in my present living situation.
- The notion of time also appeared in several ways, having time for myself to do personally fulfilling things, time specifically devoted to Ohli, more time, basically, for everything!
Integration
From all this I could see some changes that needed to take place.
- I was feeling a real lack of personal space and time, both in my home and also for finding time to do all the things that I would like to do. I was taking on too many things and not finding the time for any of them, and feeling frustrated. I needed to organize my time in a more productive way.
- Although there were many advantages to my housing situation, (friendship, company, financial benefits) the disadvantages were all things that were important to me and my family and our happiness. (Lack of space/privacy, constant company and activity, huge house to maintain, lack of control of how I lived, activity choices, food, parenting styles etc..)
- I decided that would like to simplify my life, find a way to prioritise my activities and multi-task wherever possible.
- I decided I would like to find ways of adding things into my daily life that would keep me energetically sustained, especially if I was feeling drained or tired. The things I knew that could help me feel empowered and strong were; travelling and independence, reading inspiring books, maintaining good, solid loving connections with people, time to myself doing things I enjoyed, being inspired and creating, meditation and yoga.
Ok so my edges here are that I am trying to accomplish more than I feel I am able to in the amount of time I have. I realised that although I can't change the amount of time that exists in my days, I can change the amount I try to do, whilst also trying to do it all more efficiently.
Ideas
To live more simply
At the beginning of this project I was overwhelmed by the reality of being a single parent of a young child, whilst trying to study, work, be creative and find time for myself, all by myself. Living quite far from any family I was exhausted and energetically drained. Taking on too much being a clear and debilitating habit, I saw two options. One, to prioritise and cut down on things that I was trying to accomplish, and two, to find ways to effectively and efficiently multi-task.
Principles
Multi-functional design is rooted in permaculture design, as it echo's how things in the natural world work. A trees root does not only provide the tree with nourishment from the soil; it also holds the tree firmly in place, and it stops the soils around the tree from eroding or compacting. It is very rare to find any one element in the natural world which does anything that does not have more than one purpose, and I'm sure that its this that makes these things truly sustainable. It is crucial in permaculture design that everything is interconnected to everything else. With this in mind I looked for ways to creatively multi-task elements of my life with a child.
Small and slow solutions: recognising that these things alone will not achieve the sustainable existence and deep learnings that i craved and desired, but were essential stepping stones along the way. Patience doesn't come easily for me, but making progress, no matter how small, felt just great.
Making the least change for the biggest possible effect: right now big changes don't feel possible, so the idea of making small changes that can have a big impact is very appealing
Small and slow solutions: recognising that these things alone will not achieve the sustainable existence and deep learnings that i craved and desired, but were essential stepping stones along the way. Patience doesn't come easily for me, but making progress, no matter how small, felt just great.
Making the least change for the biggest possible effect: right now big changes don't feel possible, so the idea of making small changes that can have a big impact is very appealing
You can follow to the next page and see the impacts of these thoughts here